Loving someone isn’t easy, but loving someone going through mental health disorders like Bipolar Disorder can be especially complicated.
As Pat Solitano from Silver Linings Playbook says, “I’m not perfect. I know I’m not perfect. But I’m trying.” This line portrays what being in relationships with people struggling with their mental health might feel like.
Bipolar relationships are all about riding through the rollercoaster of ups and downs that come along the way and making the best of all the moments.
As a woman being with a man going through Bipolar disorder can be confusing and might come with self-doubt. You might be even asking yourself ‘Does actually he love me or is it just a mood fluctuation?’
Mental health struggles in relations can make love more complicated but it’s all about understanding each other and having the patience to recognize the signs of your partner’s affection.
What is Bipolar Disorder?
Bipolar disorder is a psychological disorder that is indicated by intense mood fluctuations ranging from episodes of emotional highs and lows.
The emotionally high episodes known as hypomania and the lows known as depressive episodes, are both part of bipolar disorder.
These mood fluctuations control the whole life of a person, making it sometimes difficult to manage different aspects of their lives like relationships, family, work, or their day-to-day life.
Signs of Bipolar Disorder in Men
- Mood Swings: Extreme Highs (like elevated mood, excessive energy) and Lows (like hopelessness, fatigue )
- Being easily irritable and temperamental
- Engaging in reckless and impulsive behaviors
- Reckless and oftentimes making big unplanned decisions
- Restlessness
- Disturbed sleep patterns
- Substance Abuse
- Difficulty in Maintaining Relationships
- Financial Issues due to impulsive and poor money handling
- Constantly feeling worthless, guilty, and having low self-esteem.
How a Person with Bipolar Thinks in Relationships
Living or Dating someone with Bipolar Disorder makes it difficult to manage the intricacies of relationships. Bipolar not just impacts how people deal with relationship issues but also the core aspects like empathy, trust, reliability, and communication.
Experiencing intense mood fluctuations when people with Bipolar switch between mania and depression can hamper the way they make decisions and emotional responses.
This makes it crucial for their partner to understand their actions and reactions to certain situations to make communication easier and avoid misunderstandings.
The way a person with bipolar manages their episodes will have an effect on their behavior in their relationships. Here are some ways having bipolar disorder might impact the behavior of your partner:
Emotional Intensity and Volatility
Sometimes having a bipolar partner might mean you getting grand romantic gestures and sometimes it might look like they are isolating, feeling sad, and having no energy to socialize.
This is the contrast between having a manic episode and a depressive one. This might last for a few days to a week.
Fear of Abandonment and Trust Issues
Their fear of being stranded might be very strong, this comes from a place where they feel like they might be too difficult to be with. Their depressive state also takes a toll on their mental well-being.
They may think their partner will leave them because their disorder makes them experience emotional outbursts, jealousy, or clinginess during manic episodes.
This cycle can create tension in the relationship, as the individual may become overly reliant on their partner for reassurance and validation.
According to a study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders, 50-60% of people with bipolar disorder report relationship instability, often due to trust issues, emotional volatility, and communication problems.
Impulsive Decision Making and Regret
During a manic episode, people can feel a rush of energy and euphoria which can make them act in a very reckless way. They might make big plans, and commit things that might not be practical or well thought out.
This causes them to make wrong decisions that will lead to feelings of guilt and remorse when they are through with the manic episode and they are not able to deliver on their promises.
Idealization vs. Devaluation
According to a study in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, almost 50% of individuals with bipolar disorder report having relationship difficulties caused by the extreme emotional fluctuations inherent to the condition.
Part of experiencing emotional fluctuations is some days feeling like everything is bright and sunny, on those days they will make you feel cherished, pampered, and loved.
On the other hand, some days nothing will feel right and they will be filled with feelings of self-doubt and lack any willingness to make an effort towards the relationship or you.
Difficulty with Communication and Expressing Emotions
During a manic episode, people with bipolar feel energetic, willing to talk and make plans, and get defensive when they don’t feel like you are listening to them.
While they struggle to share their feelings during a depressive episode, they will isolate themselves and not be able to connect with you.
Also Read: Symptoms of Being Roofied
11 Ways to Know If A Bipolar Man Loves You
We understand that between all the mood fluctuations, euphoric highs filled with grand romantic gestures, and emotional lows full of disagreements and isolation it might be difficult to understand if they have genuine feelings for you or not.
Don’t worry we are here to help you with ways to know if a bipolar man loves you:
1. Consistency is key
It’s understandable when a bipolar man is not able to show consistency during their episodes but how they act when they are feeling relatively stable.
That is when their actions and behaviors especially count. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant but small affirmations, understanding, and little gestures to make you feel special also count.
2. Actions speak louder than Words
Love is not only about using big promises and saying the right things, It’s also important that your partner shows up through their actions.
Whether it’s just being there for you when you’re struggling or being understanding during your challenging moments, a bipolar man’s consistent support shows he cares deeply.
3. Patience and Reassurance during low phases
If he is patient and understanding that even you could be struggling with their shifts, is a big sign that they love you.
Even though they struggle to get through their episodes they still keep you in mind and understand that even you could be struggling.
At the end of the day, it’s all about if you are there for each other during the tough times.
4. Commitment towards their mental health
If a bipolar man loves you he will be committed to being better with their mental health. It can be through focusing on being consistent with his medications, going to therapy, attending support groups, and more. These actions show that he is trying to get better and practicing emotional stability for your relationship.
5. Emotional Availability
If a bipolar man can be emotionally available for you in times when they feels stable shows his love.
Every day might feel like a new emotion for them and it feels like a rollercoaster of highs and lows but if they try to be available for you through your struggles and tough times they are showing their love for you.
6. Communicating Openly
Communication is key in any relationship, but it’s especially important in one person dealing with a mental health struggle.
If he makes an effort to keep the lines of communication open, even when he’s struggling with his emotions is his way of showing you love.
It might be as simple as openly talking about difficult things like commitment and the future of your relationship.
7. Respecting your Boundaries
During a manic episode, a bipolar man will likely lose control of their impulses and make decisions or get involved in plans that you might not want to be a part of which will cause a disagreement.
Therefore his respect for your boundaries is important, whether it’s regarding space, time apart, or your emotional needs.
8. Handling conflicts
With mood swings in the mix, a small disagreement can turn into a big conflict. If the bipolar man is not able to learn to manage the emotional instability and be patient with you it will be difficult to maintain any relationship.
It was a sign of genuine love when he committed to not escalating arguments and being understanding of your feelings and point of view.
9. Emotional Dependability
There will be many unstable moments in your relationship but he is taking care of your emotional needs while managing his own mental health challenges is another sign he loves you.
He will be making you feel supported and cared for through the difficult moments showing his reliability.
10. Celebrating your Milestones
Like every relationship, being in a relationship with a bipolar man will also come with low moments through depressive episodes.
But if he shows his love and appreciation for you, celebrates with you in your happiest moments and wins shows he is not only there for you in the bad moments but he is also willing to create happy ones.
11. Efforts to make you part of their journey
Struggling with Bipolar Disorder comes with its own stigma and misunderstanding about their symptoms and condition. It can be exhausting at times to discuss mental health issues.
If he is open and willing to discuss his challenges and discussing about his progress to keep you involved he trusts you to understand and help him through his healing journey.
This means he is making efforts to keep you involved which is another sign of his commitment to you.
Things to keep in mind
Navigating through loving someone with bipolar disorder or any other mental health conditions can be very complicated but it’s worth it with the right partner.
With the right person even this difficult journey can be easier. Although while navigating through this journey some things to keep in mind are:
Show empathy towards your partner, somedays their struggle might not be obvious but internal.
Care for them by understanding that they are not perfect but they are trying their best to be better for you.
Loving someone with bipolar disorder requires patience but also focus on your own mental health. Take care of yourself so that you can be there for each other during the tough phases.